I’m feeling a bit silly as I write this, but that is totally ok because I need more silliness in my life. I constantly take things way to seriously, or at least overthink them. Does anyone know how to turn off your brain and just be?
I’ve been working to change the way I narrate the story I tell myself around food and eating. One thing I wanted to get across during last week’s update was that I feel confident in sharing the WFL because I have worked through many of the issues I write about in one form or another. Yet, there are still things that I struggle with, which is why I am working up the ladder again as I share it.
One of my sticky behaviors that still needs work is emotional eating. Last week and last night, I came home from eating dinner out with friends and ate more. Not because I was hungry, but because I had an emotional craving. At first I started telling myself the same story – that I was flawed and kept making the same mistakes and was doomed to a lifetime of fighting against emotional eating habits.
Then an email from the Healthy Dudes Score More gave me a new story and a new way to frame my narrative. I was feeling low this morning about how I had eaten last night, but I resolved to forgive, move on, and keep working with it. But I couldn’t quite shake that nagging internal dialogue that was all about the negative – I would never change, etc etc. But this email reminded me that rather than focusing on such a negative idea – that I would constantly struggle and constantly lose – I should focus on the positive side:
I had failed.
Ah, failure! What a relief.
I’m not joking. To me, failure means growth. Failure means looking at my emotional eating not as an unbreakable pattern but looking at it as a singular event. I had failed – so what? Now I could take the opportunity to grow, learn from my mistakes, figure out my true feelings about it, and move on. I was no longer trapped in Anchorman’s glass case of emotion. My negative narration – the glass case – were keeping me in a pattern of poor self-dialogue and depressed emotions.
And now I feel better. Silly, even. I know this isn’t my last bout with emotional eating, but each time I learn a little bit more about how to manage it and how to replace emotional eating and negative narration by building positive, uplifting habits.