Feb
25
The WFL Step 1: Start with self-love
You’ve made it to Step 1! Congratulations. See, that wasn’t so bad. I’ve found that I usually make things way way worse for myself by imagining all these terrible scenarios and wasting energy with negative thoughts and worry. I’ve found the best way to counter worry is through meditation and tiny bouts of action. It’s easier for me to get out of my own negative thought patterns when I meditate or move.
When my negative brain is just screaming too loudly for me to open up to meditation, then I just move a bit and get out of my own headspace. I find something to clean or declutter. I write down all the thoughts that are spinning around in my head – getting it out on paper means I can clear it out of my system. I leave my apartment – go for a walk, run an errand, visit a friend, grab a cup of tea and read a book. Anything to shift my attention away from obsessing about food or some negative trait or perceived “weakness” of mine. When I’m at work and those things are unavailable ~ I take a few moments to write a gratitude list.
When I’m in the middle of eating too much, eating something my body doesn’t need, or doing any sort of self-destructive habit – the only way I’ve found to drop that behavior on the spot is through self-love. By telling myself that I deserve better, I create a positive way to shift behaviors. And when I don’t stop before or in the middle of an unloving habit ~ I use self-love to forgive myself and move on later. It is a great way to build a safe space to grow and change how you treat and nourish yourself.
Step 1: Start with self-love
The Takeaway: Success is much easier to attain when you are on your own side, rooting for yourself and remembering how much you are worthy and loved.
Actions -
- Try out this self-love meditation
- Read the resources at Paleo for Women: Stefani first introduced me to self-love & she has many articles as well as a whole series devoted to self-love hacks
- Talk to yourself as you would talk to your daughter/son: unconditionally loving, encouraging, and forgiving.
- Remind yourself that you are worthy & deserving.
- A reminder: We are going for slow slow slow. Maybe you are itching to make a huge, radical change. Follow your instincts, as this is a process that is as much about trusting yourself as it is eating whole foods. I’ve found the greatest success, however, when I Do LESS than I think I can so I can make it a lifestyle rather than a temporary fad. Our negative thought patterns are so pervasive, sometimes we don’t even realize how we are bullying ourselves.
Inspiration:
Psychology of Eating
Paleo for Women: Self-love-spiration, Food & Love Hack Friday, and her podcast: Live, Love, Eat
Daring Greatly, by Brene Brown, and all her work on shame
- Food for Thought #4 ~ Self-love, an introduction (from me!)
Thank you Kate for sharing this. I’m working on this too
I find Louise Hay’s book You Can Heal Your Life very helpful with all the positive affirmations. She encourages you to stop criticising yourself and instead whenever you see yourself in the mirror to say “I love & approve of myself”. We’ve trained ourself so hard over the years to be critical & judgemental of ourselves that it takes a fair bit of self love talk to rewire your thinking. I also find Dr Kristen Neff’s self compassion and loving kindness meditations helpful, I found out about her work through Brene Brown. I really appreciate you Kate. Have an awesome week, because you are precious and valuable, the absolute best you!
Hi Ruthie. Thanks for sharing and also suggesting those resources. They sound great, and they are going into my book pile! I will check out that self-compassion meditation right away too. I find myself needing extra self-compassion these days. And thank you so much for your kind compliments. They made my face melt into that “this is too adorable I can’t handle it” face that I usually make when I see a basket a puppies. You are precious and valuable too! Thank you so much my dear.
This is so great, Kate. I feel like paragraphs one and two are talking right to me right now. I have a non-food related issue that’s eating me up right now (an email is coming your way…), but this still pertains. I wrote down “meditation and tiny bouts of action” as a reminder of what I can do for myself even when external matters aren’t going to change. As always, love love.
You’re right my friend, love is the answer!
I love that your blog focuses so much on self-love. It’s so essential. I wrote about it from a different perspective recently: http://www.phoenixhelix.com/2013/04/14/my-body-is-not-my-enemy/ .
Thank you! I’m looking forward to reading your post